Dear Uncle Sam,

Ignorance, arrogance and selfishness may be among your main attributes. Unlimited wealth resulted in your fiscal indiscipline.

STILL, despite all your shortcomings, you hold sacred and defend the values that I cherish and hold paramount; life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Therefore, you're still one hell of a admirable nation, worthy of reverence.

Happy 4th of July.

Let freedom ring,
Let the white dove sing,
Let the whole world know that
Today is a day of reckoning,
Let the weak be strong,
Let the right be wrong
Roll the stone away,
Let the guilty pay,
It's independence day

-Martina McBride, Independence Day

9 Ways to be Your Best Friend

I bet you (bad engrish!) everyone is guilty of this at least once.

Do you have a best friend? Maybe you do. Do you have a fake best friend? You definitely do. How many times have you been nice to someone just because you need a favor from him or her? Imagine this; Someone you've not seen or heard from for the longest time suddenly calls/IM you for small talk, asking how are you, how have you been, etc. He or she follows through the next few days, even weeks and months. Wow, rekindling an old friendship. Or so you thought. Suddenly, out of the blue, THAT question comes. He or she needs a favor. And you realised you've been re-noticed not because they really liked you but because you're in a position to do them favors.

I scribbled down 9 possible scenarios where this could probably happen. Some are personal experience.

1. You live in New York City, Chicago, London, Paris or any other city with high cost of living.
"Hey Ashley! guess what? I'm gonna be in town next weekend! Hope I can bunk at your place. We can go out and you can show me around! We can really catch up on old times!! See you then! xoxo."

2. You study or live overseas and occasionally come back to Malaysia for vacation.
"Hey Jenna! heard from Holly's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend's roommate's ex-boyfriend's brother that you're coming back next month! I'm going to order something from Amazon and mail it to you house. Could you possibly bring it back for me? Thanks alot! love ya!"

3. You are the privilege few who own a car while studying overseas.
"Hey Ron long time no see. We should meet up for lunch. Lets do lunch tomorrow! You can pick me up at 1230." And then when you pick him up. "Dude, before we do lunch could we make a quick stop at the mall? I gotta get a suit for my presentation tomorrow. We can even do lunch at the mall after that."

4. You live in a spacious apartment.
"Hey Briana! it's been a while since we caught up! Lets do a party at your place! Remember Aria, Tera, Carmella, Nina, Hanna, Gianna, Sara and Silvia? They'll be coming along too! Looking forward to a fun night! xoxo."

5. You work for an event management company.
"Hey Peter, wazzap? Haven't seen you since high school! We need to do some serious catching up. Dude, heard that you're working for XYZ Events! You guys are bringing in Lady Gaga next month yeaa? You don't happen to have any free tickets do you? eh? eh? eh?"

6. Your sister became a supermodel/overnight celebrity.
"Hello hello Evan Tan! remember me? I'm Billy from your church! Heard that your sister Hannah now very popular. Dude, we should meet up. Let me know what you've been up to. Say hi to your sister for me."

7. You own a high traffic blog
"Hello, hello Nikki. How have u been? It's so nice to see you again! I really really like your blog. It's awesome. Hey, I'm playing in a band right now and next Saturday we're going to have a gig in XYZ Bar. Could you just post that on your blog? You should come too. It's gonna be fun. You can snap some photos of us camwhoring and post it up on your blog!"

8. You work in a desirable organisation.
"Maria! it's me Amy your classmate from primary school! Hey, heard you're working with Ernst & Young now! That's awesome. We should meet up and have a drink someday. Oh yeah, here's my resume. Could you pass it to whomever it concerns? I just graduated with a PhD in Finance. Put in a few good words for me yeah?"

9. You won the lottery
"Hey Dale. It's me Jules from freshman year. Congratulations! Now I've go here, an absolutely brilliant idea. Let me explain my business plan to you......"

If it can happen in Perak.....

it can happen in New York.

Finally, the State of New York and Perak found something in common between them; a political impasse in the legislative assembly.

Allow me to cut and paste an article from Reuters.

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NY state Senate in "diabolical" leadership spat: Governor

By Joan Gralla

NEW YORK (Reuters) - New York's legislative session may have to be extended due to a "diabolical situation" that has Democrats and Republicans both claiming to lead the state Senate, Governor David Paterson said on Wednesday.

Lawmakers were due to adjourn in less than two weeks but many issues, from gay marriage to the state's property tax relief plan, are all hanging in the balance due to the political impasse, the Democrat told Albany reporters.

Paterson urged the Senate to hold another leadership vote or get the courts to settle the matter.

The Senate Democrats said they will ask a court to stop the GOP from putting their "purported coup" into effect, which could further delay the resolution of many pending issues.

The Democrats in January named their first Senate majority leader in four decades after gaining a majority in November's elections. But on Monday, two dissident Democrats said they would conference with the Republicans and helped re-elect former Republican Senate Majority Leader Dean Skelos to run the chamber.

A spokesman for Democratic Senate Majority Leader Malcolm Smith said the GOP coup had broken Senate rules and state law by usurping a public officer, Smith. In a statement, he said Smith vowed not to re-enter the chamber "to be governed by unlawful rules."

Smith ruled the chamber by a 32 to 30 majority until he lost two members of his conference. "We plan to file an action for a temporary injunction to enjoin the Republicans from illegitimately usurping authority from the people of New York," his spokesman added.

Senate Democrats have locked the chamber, and Paterson said he would not force the doors open because that would interfere in the "elective process."

Referring to the agency that runs state offices, he said: "We could bring in the Office of General Services and Homeland Security to blast through the Senate but this is getting a little ridiculous; they've got to act like adults."

Skelos, who hailed his new leadership accord as a bipartisan reform coalition, said he and the Senate's new Democratic president, Pedro Espada, would take up a host of bills, many of which affect cities, counties and towns around the state.

Their list includes, for example, normal extensions often seen near the end of legislative sessions, such as allowing the City of Yonkers to continue collecting a mortgage recording tax that otherwise will expire.

Skelos' choice of Espada as Senate president raised ethics concerns because he is being probed by the state attorney general over a non-profit group he ran. The second Democrat who broke ranks, Senator Hiram Monserrate, faces felony charges for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend.

Monserrate later said the coalition was trying to win over more Democrats and had postponed the session until Thursday.

Asked why he had not brokered a deal between the warring parties, as former Republican Governor Nelson Rockefeller did in a similar fix, Paterson said: "I don't know if that was for the good of the process or what Rockefeller wanted."

(Additional reporting by Elizabeth Flood Morrow in Albany; Editing by Dan Grebler)
-------------------------

Emphasis in red are mine.

You see the connection? Two renegade Democrat legislator from the Senate "conferred" with the Republicans to reelect Republican Senate President. Up until this incident, the Republicans were the minority in the Senate. In this case they don't have to "defect" or even leave their parties. They just, well, "conferred".

Thankfully, appointment to the Executive branch of the government is not dependent on the Legislative. State Governors are directly elected to office, as opposed to the Westminster system where the person who commands the majority support in the Legislative becomes the chief executive of the government. Of course, there are constitutional means to remove the Governor from office via the state legislative but that is inconsequential here.

This means regardless of what happens there, Governor Paterson still keeps his job. But since this independence makes the State Senate more than just a rubber stamp house, the desire to control the Senate by either parties will determine who gets what in the state. Bills are really debated, then passed or defeated here.

Let's see how this impasse plays out in the next few days.

Subtitle Subtleties Revisited

Okay, I admit. Translating from English to Malay is harder than it seems, especially when you take the pains to make sure the context is correct and not just pass it off with literal translations (like how it usually happens).

Some words are just not meant to be translated even when u try really hard to. For instance, what is the Malay equivalent to the phrase "cutie pie"? Trust me, it's not "pai comel".

Or, try this example. Consider the phrase: "Hi Jenna, how's your little baby Maria doing?". Sounds simple enough right? Yet I could not find a suitable phrase in Malay and at the same time ensure that it does not sound too corny.

"Hai Jenna, apa khabar anakmu si kecil Maria?"
Doesn't flow.

"Hai Jenna, bayimu Maria apa khabar?"
Better?

"Hai Jenna, bagaimana keadaan bayi kecil kamu Maria?"
Literal translation. Very, very bad.

"Hai Jenna, apa macam you punya bayi itu.... apanama... Maria?"
A more realistic expression in actual day to day conversation. In malay, they call this expression bahasa pasar, literally market language.

"Hai Jenna, anak kecilmu Maria bagaimana?"
Most appropriate translation (in my opinion).

Having said that, those people who does subtitles should still be given a rope to hang themselves for such horrendous translation. Yes, it ain't an easy job, but that does not give them the license to fuck up so badly right?

You know what they say; if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

Quotable Quote

In regard to Alanis Morrisette's song Ironic, and the meaning of irony in general:

An old man, turned ninety-eight,
He won the lottery died the next day.

It's a black fly in your Chardonnay.

It's a death row pardon two minutes too late.

It's like rain on your wedding day.

It's a free ride when you already paid.

It's a good advice that you just didn't take.

"She sang all these examples with shrieking passion, but in actual fact none of these (except perhaps the last) are ironic. They're just unfortunate. There's absolutely nothing ironic about raining on your wedding day. It's just unfortunate. Unless, perhaps, if you had originally organised a rainy-day themed wedding but decided at the last moment to change it because your wedding is taking place in the middle of the Sahara desert, and then it rained for the first time in 300 years. Maybe that would be ironic."

- Kam Raslan, Talking Edge, Options Pullout, The Edge Weekly magazine (Week of May 25, 2008)

Why I love Forbes Magazine

Those of you familiar with Forbes Rich List will know that they publish The Forbes Fictional 15 (Richest Person) every year. Regulars on list includes Scrooge McDuck, Richie Rich, Gordon Gekko and C. Montgomery Burns. While browsing through the list I found out that for 2008, there was a new entrant, and he shot straight up to #1. Take note of his net worth:

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The Forbes Fictional 15
No. 1 Uncle Sam

This crusty former frontiersman boasts an infinite net worth on this year's list of fiction's richest.

Net Worth: Infinite
Source: Engraving
Age: 232
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Washington, D.C.
Education: Home schooled

Crusty former frontiersman and U.S. Army recruitment officer experiencing second act on Wall Street. Contrarian strategy: Invests exclusively in companies on the brink of bankruptcy; bullish on insolvent insurers, overleveraged banks, Detroit automakers and "toxic securities." High net worth attributed to crafty purchase of U.S. Mint in 1792; printed $6 billion in September alone. Large interests in aerospace and defense. With 2003 real estate play in Middle East widely viewed as failure, some hope new management will clean up mess.

Featured in American iconography.
----------------

Ha ha ha

Subtitle Subtleties

There was a time when subtitles in cinemas were horrendous. In the days before we had cineplexes like TGV and GSC, there were the Odeons, the Cathays, etc. I only remember watching 4 movies in those kind of cinemas; Indiana Jones The Last Crusade, Terminator 2, Patriot Games and the original TMNT movie.

Those days, subtitles can be so bad whereby in a battle field scene, a commander would yell "Fire!", signalling the shelling of enemy territory, would be translated as "Api!" and the enemy commander, who orders his troops to duck to take cover from the shelling, would be translated as "Itik!".

There are many other cases but over the years, subtitles got better. When Astro came along, subtitles became excellent, translating perfectly even for dialogs with strong cultural references.

However, recently I was mortified to see how Astro's subtitles has really deteriorated. Figure of speeches were translated literally.

Movers and shakers were translated as penggerak dan penggegar.

Aleutian Islands was misheard and therefore translated as Pulau Illusi.

And also, they translate things that are not supposed to be translated. Rhode Island, should have remained Rhode Island instead of Pulau Rhode.

Subtitles are important. I turn on english subtitles even for english movies. This is so that I will not mistaken phrases like sont des mots qui vont trés bien ensemble for "some day monkey gonna play piano song".

But sometimes, what you see on TV just makes you wanna smack your head on to the wall.

Let me know if you have seen/heard worse.